Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
