Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
