i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
