Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
