your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
