vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
