Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize