Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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