he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
