And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
