i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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