Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
