Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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