I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
