you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
