I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
