Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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