There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
either way he was missing a nipple.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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