Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am spending my child support on dildos
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize
