Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
