How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
