I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
