I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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