I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
