Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
