Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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