at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
