shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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