South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
