god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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