not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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