By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize