She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
