i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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