Swine flu. Run for my life!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
