I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
