I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
