There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
