Can Purell be used as lube?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
