Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
