I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
