It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
