I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
