Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
