I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
third nipple confirmed
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
