so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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