I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize