you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
