Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i've created a new STD.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
