toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
