He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he fucked my hip out of place.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
