I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Is it because I queefed?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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