He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize