is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
