Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
