he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
