so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Text me some of your sweat
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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