Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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