I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
