So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Randomize
