everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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