Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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