Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
