Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
